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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?